Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart, and lean NOT on your OWN understanding"

Sometimes life just doesn't seem to make sense when we view it through our human eyes. We can't and don't always see the bigger picture. Things aren't "fair." There are women who struggle each and every day with infertility and/or complications and would give anything to hear the words "Congratulations! You're pregnant with a HEALTHY baby." There are thousands of children all over the world who would love to hear the words "Welcome home. You are loved" and to truly know and experience what it feels like to be part of a family. Recently I have been witness to both of these situations, with each of them leaving me searching for understanding.

I've been following the blog of Renee's pregnancy since she found out she was expecting twin boys. It's so funny how you feel like you are part of someone's life just by reading their story, and before you know it you are on the emotional roller coaster right beside them through the ups and downs of this journey we call "life." My heart was saddened today to learn that her sweet boys are now angels waiting to meet her in Heaven. (You can read Renee's blog here - grab a box of tissues!)

Her story is such a testimony to what a mighty God we serve. It's hard not to read each post and just sense her peace and comfort with the entire situation. Her positive attitude has been such an inspiration to me over the past few weeks. I can only pray that should I ever have to endure a similar situation that I too would handle it with merely half of the grace that Renee and her family have demonstrated.

The other day I was treating a child who is currently in foster care. Initially his foster parents were hopeful to adopt him as their own. However, as time has progressed, more delays have surfaced with lots of questions and very few answers. They are currently in the process of visiting many specialists to determine the underlying cause(s) of his impairments. He is currently unable to hold his head up on his own. It absolutely broke my heart when his foster mom informed me that "if he is going to be an invalid for the rest of his life, then we just can't afford to take care of him." And if that is her outlook on the situation then maybe it is best that they not adopt him. Further frustrating was the fact that she informed me that they had just "passed up" the opportunity to adopt twin girls who are "typically developing." Come on people...we're not talking about picking out puppies here. This child may not only need a little more love, care and attention than a "typical" child, but he deserves all of those things. *HEAVY SIGH*

I think it's awesome that God knew that no matter how hard we try that we will never completely understand, and that we must TRUST in HIM. And so I say..."I will praise you in this storm..."

Praying for Renee, Scott, Shae and their families as they look to Jesus to mend their hearts and rely on family and friends here on earth to hold and comfort them.

I Feel FREE!!!

I could kick myself for not taking pictures to give a "before" and "after" image of our garage before and after the most recent purge...aka: yard sale! Like I previously mentioned, we've been trying to have a yard sale for what seems like forever. Well we finally did it this past weekend and I'm SO glad. When Nolan and I got married, we combined our two households which left us with many duplicate items. And since I couldn't justify having 3 blenders and 2 mixers and 3 sets of dishes (etc, etc, you get the point) we boxed and kept all the extras in our garage. Those boxes have been an eyesore for me for the past 6 months. Not that we can even park our cars in the garage, but to have "clutter" was driving me NUTS!!!! So last week I put an ad in the local paper (and their online site) and we listed it in Craigslist, put up signs in the area, said a prayer for good weather and hoped that someone would find "treasure" in our trash. And apparently there was $400 dollars worth of treasure. And now we have a clean garage (it even echos now when you stand in it and talk!!). I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...I'm FREE!! I know that might sound silly to some, but what an awesome feeling!

So that was last Saturday. My parents came up Friday evening and my mom helped out tremendously with the yard sale (she has at least 2 a year...I'm not quite there yet!) My dad on the other hand...well...he sat in the back of the garage and read a book on gardening that we had for sale and occasionally counted change for a customer :) Saturday night we went to dinner for mine and Nolan's birthdays, and then took a trip to Home Depot so he could pick out his birthday presents. From my parents he got a gas leaf blower and I bought him a wet/dry vac. How old does that make us sound?? When I was a little girl, I HATED Home Depot. In fact, I would go so far to say that I DESPISED it! Now that we own a house, I find the things it has to offer a little more practical for my life and it falls only second to Lowe's for fun non-clothing stores to visit. We also invested $17 in a new shower head for the master bathroom. BEST INVESTMENT EVER! I've been showering in the guest bathroom since I moved into this house because the water pressure in the master bathroom was HORRIBLE!! There's got to be a little force behind the spray to get shampoo/conditioner out of this hair, and the master shower didn't make the cut. Well, come to find out that there was a "water saver" shower head on there...presto - change-o and in five quick minutes that shower now rivals a spa...(small exaggeration). Sunday we went to lunch, had ice cream (instead of birthday cake) and took an "easy day."

Exciting birthday weekend, huh?? I realize that I'm one year closer to 30 now, and that neither excites or saddens me. I'm happy to be 26. My Grandma's birthday is today, and when I talked to her on Sunday she said she was just "happy to have another year." Agreed. Hopefully we'll both be blessed enough to live many more decades like my great grandmother who turns 95 this month. Lord knows she's seen a few changes in her time. 

This week brings a new challenge. I've decided that I need to get up and workout before work, because otherwise it just isn't getting done. I'm buckling down and trying the Jillian Micheal's 30-day shred challenge. I've been doing it here and there, but today marked the 1st day of 30. Getting up at 5 am wasn't easy, but knowing that when I came home from work this afternoon I could chill out without feeling guilty because I had already "shredded it" was pure bliss. I refuse to let this waking up business defeat me. At this point, it's all a mental game anyways. Now that I've publicized this information, I hope to hold myself to a higher standard and follow through with the plan. Afterall, I've got to get my six-pack ready for the beach in July, and unfortunately the kind I'm talking about can't be bought at the store!

Hope everyone has a GREAT week!!